GRUDGEMATCH: Rambo vs. Predator

July 26, 2010

Rambo Vs. Predator: Who will win?

With all the Predator hype surrounding the new Predators movie, I got thinking about our favorite jungle hunter. It wasn’t too long before I was having fond memories of the Rambo franchise, and began fantasizing about a showdown between the two characters.

Rambo and Predator. Both are skilled hunters and combatants. Both use the terrain to disappear and wait for the perfect moment to strike. And most importantly, both are capable of dispatching entire units of heavily armed soldiers. But if it came down to a showdown between the two, who has the winning edge? Combat vet or alien from outer space?

Rambo:

-Green Beret and Vietnam War Veteran.
-Skilled in survival, hand to hand combat, and guerrilla warfare.
-Trained to live off the land, feel no pain, and never surrender
-Suffers post-traumatic stress disorder from being a POW in Vietnam.
-Able to make lethal booby traps from natural terrain.
-What you call hell, he calls home.

Arsenal:
-Compact bow with explosive tips
-The knife
– 75% chance Rambo will find some sort of mounted heavy machine gun and carry it with one arm

Favorite move:
Giving a stirring one-liner and then firing a machine gun in all directions while yelling “AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHHH!”

Predator:

-Alien who dedicates his life to the hunt.
-Possesses strength and fortitude far beyond human level.
-Proficient in hunting humans and other species, studying its prey for up to several days before killing.
-Has never lived survived a movie and was once defeated by Danny Glover. (Hey, lets be honest).

Arsenal:
-Active Camouflage which makes him essentially invisible, but short circuits in water
-Thermal imaging eyesight
-A shoulder mounted energy weapon (Plasma Caster)
-Telescopic Spear
-Various laser nets, shuriken, and a boomerang like razor-disc
-Wrist blades
-Self destruct device (used as a last resort).

Favorite move: Removing his face mask, roaring, finishing his prey’s sentence with an electronic translator, and then ripping the skull and spinal column right from their body.

Let the battle begin!

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5 Responses to “GRUDGEMATCH: Rambo vs. Predator”

  1. Schnoebunny Says:

    I can’t believe I’m voting on this, but I’ll have to admit, I’m intrigued. I’ve never seen any of the Predator movies, and I fell asleep 1/2 way through the only Rambo movie I’ve seen… And yet I fell compelled to vote… Probably because you pose this match in such an interesting way.

  2. Isaac Says:

    I find it easiest to think about it this way: Who was able to beat the Predator before? And is Rambo tougher than those guys?

    Despite the Predator’s superior arsenal, he’s always able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. He just can’t beat the hero.
    Rambo is every bit as tough as “Butch” (Arnold Schwarzenegger in the first Predator) and could mop the floor with Danny Glover. He’s definitely got the odds stacked against him, but I’m guessing the Predator will wait too long to strike and by then Rambo will have figured out a way to win.

  3. Fortress Guy Says:

    Well, being defeated by Danny Glover drops any sentient star-faring hunter a few notches.

    You are so right too about Rambo. He has an uncanny sixth sense for where to find mounted guns.

    Add those to up and we think we know who would win. Plus Rambo is accustomed to hiding in mud.


  4. I am going for Rambo too. I would much rather be lucky than be Predator. Also, I think people should win, being at the top of the food chain and all.

  5. Shaggy Says:

    cmon if dadny glover defeats him imagine what rambo gonna do with him 😀


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