Second Opinion: Clash of the Titans (2010)
April 12, 2010
by Luke Eddy
I thoroughly enjoyed this movie…but for all the wrong reasons. Going into the theater I knew that Clash of the Titans had only a 34% freshness rating on Rotten Tomatoes (and it’s dropped even lower since it’s release), so I’d already lost hope of the film living up to it’s prerelease hype. And yet I was still amazed at just how bland, unoriginal, uninspired, insipid, cheesy, confusing, contrived, and downright silly it all was. In his review of Clash of the Titans, Isaac has already pointed out its most glaring flaws: a plot that manages to be both confusing and boring at the same time, characters with unclear motives, and action scenes that just don’t deliver. I want to expound on that last point because if the film had delivered the action it had promised then a lot of other flaws could have been forgiven. However, if you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve already seen every single fight in the film, not every single blurry frame, obviously, but at least a couple shots from every fight show up in the trailer. The premises of the fights have potential: Giant scorpions! An evil dude twisted by the wrath of Zeus and the power of Hades! Medusa! The Kraken! Yet none of these fights are nearly as epic or exciting as they could have been. And when the film does try to amp up the action for one of the later fights, Perseus starts doing weird flips and spins in the middle of a sword fight. The nail in the coffin though was that Perseus doesn’t even fight the Kraken. I’m sorry! I’m sorry I spoiled it, but it’s true. Yes, Perseus flies around it on a Pegasus and zaps it with Medusa’s ugly face, but all that the Kraken does is gurgle and swat a few buildings. When I first saw the trailer I thought to myself, “This is silly and stupid and over-the-top and awesome all at the same time, I need to see this.” (I also thought, “Wow, that’s some shiny armor that Liam Neeson is wearing.” But that’s beside the point.) Yet Clash of the Titans wasn’t silly or stupid in the way that a good action flick is, such as the Lethal Weapon or The Mummy series, where the action is intentionally over-the-top and the whole film is tongue-in-cheek about it’s own ridiculousness. Clash of the Titans is neither of these: it’s just plain silly and just plain stupid, and even worse, it takes itself seriously the whole time.
As I said at the beginning of this review, I thoroughly enjoyed Clash of the Titans…but for all the wrong reasons. Despite everything I just said, no, because of everything I just said, you should get together a group of friends, go see it, 2-D, matinee price, and watch it MST3K style. I went to a 10 o’clock showing on opening night and almost everyone was talking and laughing. Clash of the Titans gets only two zipped lips from me, because really you should only shut up to listen to the hilariously awful dialogue.